Mr. Steak
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I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running i’m laughing because the 50 dollars didn’t belong to me
(via of-house-tyrell)
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wow get a job
are you talking to the photographer or the dog because if you’re talking to the dog i agree
(via wwiao)
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When you see visitors in your house but you had no idea they were coming:
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Always remember that you are not worthless, organs are extremely expensive on the black market
My roommate and I just looked this up and your bone marrow alone is worth $23 million. 23 million dollars. So if you ever kidnap someone, don’t hold them for ransom, just keep them in a vegetative state and slowly sell their bone marrow on the black market.
(via jasfaeirydust91)
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Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?
The C
I FUCKING GET IT NOW IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS
(via hotanimegirl)
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My sister keeps asking me if I want to go see The Great Cosby with her and I don’t have it in my heart to correct her.
(via jasfaeirydust91)
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my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE
the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone
I bet he’s on Tumblr
I am
(via jasfaeirydust91)
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a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
(via jasfaeirydust91)
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(via jasfaeirydust91)
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It’s understanding..
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(via jasfaeirydust91)
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A 7 year old boy in Virginia was suspended from school after he pointed his pencil at a fellow student and said, “bang!” Even worse, he pointed at another student and said, “would not bang.”
(via jasfaeirydust91)
